


A Legend Wrapped In a Story Wrapped In A Green Tunic (and other tales)

by Flangst



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Adventure, F/M, Fluff, Ghostbusters AU, Half Life AU, Introspection, Romance, Unrelated chapters, and link's a hottie, especially great ones, fairies are also perverts, gerudo are kinda perverts, inappropriate spying, ish, link is a woobie, most of this stuff is humor, some crack chapters, unrequited feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2018-10-14 08:06:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 5,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10532340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flangst/pseuds/Flangst
Summary: Similar to my Pokemon collection, this is where I'm keeping all my LOZ short stories.





	1. Snow

Link’s breath came in short puffs as he trudged out into the icy steppe. The partially frozen river was far beneath him now as he made his way up a mountain that was getting icier and steeper. The snow piling up on the ground now nearly reached his knees. He grunted in irritation, pulling one boot, then the other, free. One more step. One more step. A blast of frigid wind tore at his face and he threw up his hand to protect himself. From his shadow, a small figure blinked a red eye at him.

“Wouldn’t this be easier if you were a wolf?”


	2. Dance

“Master, please listen… this is the song of Farore’s Courage… Playing it will allow you to enter her Silent Realm…”

Fi darted gracefully away from him and began leaping and twirling around the room as Link’s fingers began to pluck at the lyre almost unconsciously. The melody filled the air, bright and full of color, bringing to mind the images of life, of springtime. He could practically smell the flowers and plants of Faron’s Woods, feel the springy turf beneath his boots, hear the twittering of the birds and the soft splash of the creek over the stones. Without realizing it he was dancing as well, stepping in time the ethereal melody his instrument produced. When he opened his eyes, he could have sworn he saw the figure of a woman before him, smiling. She had bright eyes that seemed to glow with life, her hair was full of flowers, and she was… floating?

“Master, the song is complete.”

“Oh.” He blinked, and the woman vanished. Only Fi was floating before him now, watching unblinkingly as he fumbled to put his instrument away, embarrassed by what had come over him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I enjoyed Skyward Sword, but there were some things I really had wished were different. The parts where Link learns the different songs to enter the Silent Realms, for example, really should have been interactive in some way, I feel.


	3. Tumbleweed

Bokoblins seemed to be infesting every inch of this broken-down skeleton of a town. They patrolled the balconies, prowled the dirt streets, and peered down at the town from rooftops. 

But they hadn’t seen Link yet. 

He stepped out from behind an old shack, a light breeze tossing up dust around his boots. His hat pulled down to shade his eyes, he unlimbered his bow and nocked an arrow. Squinting in the harsh light, he paused to spit into the dirt, grimacing. 

Aim. Pull. Aaaaand… shoot.

With nary a howl, the Bokoblin toppled from the water tower, an arrow piercing its neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeehaw.


	4. Slam Dunk

“I think if we cross--”

BANG!

Midna winced, glaring down at the source of sound before beginning again.  
“Like I said, if we cross this rope--”

BANG!

Link whimpered. The crash of metal against stone was far louder in wolf form, and the scraping sounds were painful. Midna threw him a sympathetic glance before trying to finish.

“If we cross the rope we can--”

BANG!

“DO YOU MIND!” She floated upwards to glare down at the Helmasaur who was currently waging war on the pillar they sat on. It glanced up and grunted a challenge at her before charging again. 

“That’s IT!” Reaching down with her hair-hand, she grabbed the surprised creature and flung it across the void between their pillar and the next floating piece of city. The squealing beast sailed clean through one of the decorative windows and out into the sky beyond, its cries fading as it plummeted to the ground.

Link blinked in surprise and glanced over at the Twilight imp. She shrugged with false modesty. “I’ve always had good aim.”


	5. Courtship

“Princess, I… I found these flowers and I…”

Why would she care, you moron. They’re growing the finest flowers in the kingdom in her gardens, and you want to give her a bunch of weeds? That one still has dirt in its roots.

Link tossed the sad little bouquet onto the ground in despair. Who was he kidding? In another future, he was the hero of Hyrule, true, but in this one he was just some kid who had tipped off the royal family about Ganondorf’s impending coup. True, he and the princess had grown close in the past eight years, but… she was the princess. 

And here? Here, in this time, he was no one.

“Link?”

He jumped, heart in his throat, and turned around hastily, smoothing his hair back. 

“Princess, I--”

“You know you can call me Zelda, Link--”

“Sorry, Zelda--”

“It’s ok--”

“I just wanted to ask--” they blurted out at the same time.

“Oh! Um. You first,” he stammered, blushing. Goddess, could this get more humiliating? And she looked so beautiful today (well she always did but still).

“I just… wanted to ask if… if you… if you wanted to take a walk with me through the gardens?” she asked shyly, tucking a lock of strawberry blonde hair behind her ear. 

“Yes! I mean yes, I… yes. I--Zelda! I want… here.” He stooped down and grabbed the fallen daisies, thrusting them at her. “These… are for you.”

“Oh Link!” A huge smile spread over her face as she accepted them. “They’re beautiful.”


	6. Tourism

“Kid, what have you done? My well! My windmill!”

Link winced guiltily as the windmill began to turn unnaturally fast, and cries of “The well’s empty!” and “Where is the water going?” and “Forget that cuckoo petting zoo! THIS is where the real tourist money is gonna come from!” rang out from Kakariko Village.

“Kid, whatever you did, you better fix it right now!”

The miller looked slightly crazed, turning the handle of his music box in a frenzy of rage. Link was fairly certain the man had burst a blood vessel in his eye. 

“Sorry, I… I don’t actually know how to fix it. The storm usually just stops on its own,” he mumbled, looking anywhere but at the apoplectic man before him. 

“YOU DON’T KNOW HOW--”

The rest of the man’s angry tirade was drowned out as Link bailed and slammed the door behind him. He hurried across the sodden pathways, passing a group of stunned villagers still puzzling over the mystery of the magically draining well.

“I can just see it now!” declared one man as Link passed him. “‘Tall! Dark! Narrow!’ We’ll call it ‘The Well of THREE Features!’ Folks will flock in from miles just to see it!”

“But isn’t it full of corpses and redeads?” 

“They can be part of the deluxe package!”


	7. Flirtation (or, "Now That Link is Legal, the Fairies Don't Care")

“I am the Din’s Great Fairy of Magic! I can teach you a spell that will allow you to harness the power of fire to do your bidding, young Hero!” 

Link could have sworn he didn’t ever care this much about the… hips… of the Great Fairies as a kid. He shifted uncomfortably and mentally recited the names of healing plants in Kokiri Forest as the voluptuous woman writhed in the air above him. 

He nearly jumped out of his skin as he felt her fingers trail over his shoulder and the back of his neck. She giggled as Navi fluttered around (“Hey!!”) in indignation, as if to say he already had one fairy companion and that was plenty, thank you.

“Oh Hero, your journey has been so long and thankless, surely you can take just a moment to… rest?...” the Great Fairy purred, running a finger over the shell of his pointed ear. Link twitched away from the gesture.

“I… uh.... I have been able to sleep quite a lot actually…” he stammered, wondering when exactly things had gotten out of hand. None of the other Fairies had been this touchy-feely aside from some irritating cheek pinching, he was sure. Then again, he hadn’t seen any of them since he’d been cast into the future…

Oh…

Oh dear.

“My sisters told me of a young hero who was ridding the land of evil, but I assumed you were a child! I didn’t realize you’d be so… handsome…” 

Was it hot in here or was it just because she was a Great Fairy of Din?

“I was a child until… ok, Ma’am, umm…”

His brain wasn’t functioning properly… and she was far too close…

“HEY! LISTEN!!!”


	8. Delegation

“No, you misunderstand. You see, as I have recently acquired enough power to singlehandedly level an entire castle and take over Hyrule myself, I need some way to regulate it in order to not immediately destroy my new kingdom. It was hard-won and frankly I think I deserve some time to rule over it at my leisure.” 

“I see, sir--”

“Overlord Ganondorf.”

“Overlord Ganondorf, sir. Have you considered investing your power incrementally into monsters that will help you keep control of the land, sir?”

“Monsters?... I’m listening.”

“For example, if you were to invest in our Phantom Starter Pack©, sir, you can insert a phantom with your likeness into a location of your choosing--say, a temple--and the creature can guard it for you, leaving you free to subjugate and dominate on your own schedule. Mr. Overlord, sir.”

“That would be nice… do you know much of a pain it is to command an army of the undead and monsters?”

“I can imagine, sir--I mean Overlord--and in addition we have a variety of monsters to choose from for any location you may with to rule with fear, as well as some spells for reawakening monsters who are technically dead or have been sealed away.”

“...Keep talking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... Wait, you're saying this isn't how it happened?


	9. Pants

As hard as it had sometimes been adjusting to the harsh lifestyle of a Sheikah after Hyrule was overthrown, Zelda had to admit that not wearing skirts definitely had its advantages. She’d never realized how restricting they were until Impa had handed her a pair of pants and said “From now on this is what you need to put on every morning. Can’t risk anyone realizing that the princess escaped Castle Town.”

As Sheik, she was technically wearing a full-body suit but the point remained. Pants were damn useful.

As she stripped the jumpsuit off and lowered her sore body into one of the hot springs near Death Mountain, she considered how long that would have taken if she’d had her many layers of skirts that came part of the fine dresses she wore as princess.

This had taken her, what, 4 seconds tops?

And the springs were the perfect temperature…

“Sheik?”

Crap!! She lowered herself all the way in, just her face from the nose up exposed, praying the steam would keep her body concealed. At least she wasn’t facing the entrance to the springs.

Link came around the corner but there wasn’t much to see with the steam clouding up the air. His boot landed on something soft and he looked down to see Sheik’s uniform crumpled on the rocks. That must have meant… oh my…

“I’ll just, um, wait…” he mumbled, hoping that Sheik would mistake the redness of his face for the ambient heat of the springs.


	10. Deity

Tatl had been scared plenty before. Had spent the last Din-knew-how-many 3 day cycles flying for her life, battling enemies that could have crushed her without a second thought, and following an insanely brave boy with a huge chip on his shoulder and a scary amount of battle knowledge. She even knew what it was like to be terrified of someone she’d thought was her friend. She just never expected to be afraid of Link.

But now, oh, she was terrified.

“L-Link?”

The silent man standing beside her didn’t seem to hear her. Just a few seconds he’d been screaming in pain as the transformation occurred but now his silence was unnerving. When he’d transformed every other time, he’d still been Link--albeit in a different body, but still recognizable as her friend. This… this demon… this wasn’t Link.

“Link… c’mon, say something already!”

 **ENOUGH TALK,** bellowed the unnaturally deep mind-voice of Majora. **BAD GUYS DON’T TALK. THEY DIE.** Whip-like tentacles reached out from the back of the huge floating mask, darting like snakes towards the Link-demon.

Almost faster than she could blink, he raised an enormous double helix sword nearly the length of his own body and severed the lot of the them. The fluid ease and swiftness of his attack sent chills down Tatl’s spine. Majora retracted its wounded arms, howling in agony. The room shook with the force of its screaming.

Tatl thought she knew what fear was. But watching the two demonic entities--one of which was supposed to be her friend--clash in an explosion of sparks, she realized now that she’d had no idea.


	11. Gerudo Membership Card

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gerudos like themselves a Rocking' Bod

“Well…” The Gerudo warrior panted heavily, hand pressed to a bleeding cut on her leg, “you’ve fought with cunning and honor. I have to commend you… few have ever escaped our stronghold with all their body parts attached.”

“What about the carpenters?” he asked, Master Sword still raised just in case.

She shrugged, tying off a piece of cloth to stop the bleeding. “We mostly imprisoned them for being annoying. We weren’t going to kill them or anything. Just scare them a bit.”

“Oh. So… you’ll let them go?”

“Yeah. I don’t think they’ll be coming back anytime soon. As for you… as a reward for your impressive abilities and prowess, I want to give you, um… one of our exclusive membership cards.” She passed over a slightly crumpled bit of paper. He accepted it, thankful he’d been learning to read over the last few months.

**_Official Club Gerudo Membership Card. Redeemable at All Certified Gerudo Locations._ **

“This looks like you just scribbled down-”

“Look, do you want to be invited back or not?” snapped Avril.

_Later that week…_

“This is the best idea you’ve ever had.”

“Am I a genius, or am I a genius?”

Kabara high-fived Avril from their incredibly sneaking spying locale of the cliff overlooking the river as they eagerly drank in the sight of the young Hylian man getting some relief from the heat. He was stripped down to just a cloth wrapped over his bits and swimming like a fish from one bank to the other. As Avril had predicted, he actually was taking advantage of their (admittedly Spartan) facilities.

It had been a long time since either of them had seen a man this fine. That fine bone structure… those long legs… that fantastic ass… Sure, he was a little young to father any kids, but he was certainly at the right age to be ogled. The Hylian had a fantastic bod. Not to mention that when he wasn’t swinging a sword or clocking you with his hookshot he was downright polite, soft-spoken, and hardworking.

Too bad he was mooning over some other girl. Or so said the fairy who was constantly at his side. Avril sighed. That lucky fairy. Probably got to see _everything_ when Link finally bothered to actually get naked.


	12. It's a Secret to Everyone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize this line has nothing to do with the story, thanks.

“Hey Lana, are you ok?... You seem a little off.”

Midna watched as Lana squirmed under her gaze. The sorceress was already firmly in her “Suspicious” category ever since the revelation that she and Cia had originated from the same person. “It’s just… I’ve barely seen Cia since we split apart and… I forgot how obsessed she is…”

“Yeahhhhh… about that, what was it, exactly, that split you… two… apart?”

“Um…. it’s really embarrassing, actually.”

Midna settled into a more comfortable floating position. “I’ve got all day.”

“We really don’t--”

“I think we do.” This time there was a hint of steel underneath her faux sweetness. 

Lana sighed. “Ok. Fine. Uh. Ok, I c-can’t say it out loud, it’s too embarrassing.”

“Oh sweet twilight… then whisper it in my ear!”

Lana leaned in. She was actually shaking, good heavens. What was wrong with this crazy girl?

“I really really… I’mkindofinlovewithLink.”

“Beg pardon?” Midna stuck a finger in her ear.

“I’m. Uh. Kind of in love with Link? Please don’t tell anyone!!” Lana covered her face, utterly mortified. Midna blinked. _That_ was her big secret? It seemed obvious to anyone who bothered to look closely for a few minutes.

“Wait, wha… like, this Link? The guy with the blue scarf Or a different Link?” Midna scratched her chin, confused. “I mean, I guess he’s a nice fella. Doesn’t really have that ‘oh-shucks’ farm boy thing the Link from my timeline has going on, you know? That was pretty cute--”

“No! No! I mean, yes!!! It’s… ugh, it’s complicated!!”

“So are you guys, like, a thing?.... Cause I’m pretty sure he’s got the hots for the Zelda of this world.”

Lana burst into tears.

Midna was baffled. Yeah, that sealed it, both halves of this Lana-Cia person were lunatics. She couldn’t _wait_ for this wacko to go back to their own timeline. Whenever that was.


	13. Resonance Cascade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little crossover with Half Life.

He didn’t know what had happened. One second he had put his gloved hand on the three glowing triangles, the next golden energy was exploding wildly throughout the room and pieces of machinery were falling apart. Link huddled next to the wall, praying his HEV suit would protect him from the collapsing debris.

“Shut it off, shut--ARRRGHH!”

Shattering glass.

The lights flickered again-

Link closed his eyes-

And opened them in an unfamiliar landscape.

_Where am I?_

_A man in a black SUV pointed a gun at him in front of a burning building. The man’s yellowed eyes narrowed as he pulled the trigger-_

_Link flinched-_

And he was back in the SacRD Chamber, which was still coming apart at the seams, although the explosions seemed to have stopped temporarily. Not thinking twice about it, he ran for the door.


	14. Something There That Wasn't There Before...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have some Midlink fluff

“The mirror is hidden deep inside that prison, and it’s our only connection to the Twilight Realm.” 

She spoke with a different kind of determination than before, one that stemmed from the desire to protect the greater good than to seek revenge.  _ We,  _ she said now. It’s  _ our  _ connection to the Twilight Realm. No more of this relentless selfishness and cruel taunting that had plagued him through most of their association. In fact, he couldn’t remember the last time she’d said something rude, threatening or condescending to him. He’d had to stop for several minutes to get sand out of his boots when they’d landed in the desert and she hadn’t complained once. 

He liked this new Midna. He hoped she was sticking around.

He stiffened in surprise when she laid her hand on his cheek. “You’ll come with me, won’t you?”

Well, this was a pleasant change. A request instead of a demand. He gazed into her red-golden eyes for several seconds, taking note of what he saw there. He must have been staring for a long time because she began to look worried that he was going to say no. He shook himself.

“Of course I will.”

She offered a small smile, and he found himself missing the touch of her delicate hand when she removed it. That was odd. 

Well. It was probably just the sun and heat messing with his mind. Nothing more.


	15. Gotta Catch 'Em All

_ *smack* _

 

“Dammit! I was so close!” 

 

Link tiptoed a little closer to the errant beetle, net raised high. This time for sure. It was backed up against the wall; no way it could escape this time.

 

_ *ssswap* _

 

“WHAT!!”

 

The net somehow landed a few inches left of his precious target, which quickly turned tail and motored its little shit ball away as fast as possible. Link was floored. He’d never had any trouble with the weapons he’d picked up along his travels except this thrice-cursed net. His shots from the bow were sure and true; his bomb tosses never missed; and the Goddess Sword functioned like an extension of his arm.

 

But the net? Every time he used it, it was as though he’d been struck by a horrible nervous disease that left his arm flailing spastically. He’d captured every square inch of space  _ around _ the beetle, he was sure. But not the beetle itself.

 

_ “Master?” _

 

“WHAT??” Fi was not fazed by his twitching, bloodshot eyes or generally hysterical demeanor. 19 straight hours of chasing a beetle around the Eldin Province will do that to you. 

 

_ “May I suggest you take a break from pursuing the arthropod to rest and hydrate? Your energy is dangerously depleted.” _

 

“Aw, Fi, stop worryin’, once I get this stupid thing then I’ll rest and stuff. But I gotta get it. I gotta. Cause then I can sell it, and then….” he trailed off. Fi waited patiently but he seemed to have lost interest in his train of thought. 

 

“I gotta get all the bugs.” And then he promptly tripped over his own feet and began snoring on the volcanic soil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if it's the motion controls or what but I have such trouble with that fuckin' net.


	16. Ignorant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess who finally started Breath of the Wild?
> 
> It is me.

“Look at the boy’s face! He doesn’t remember anything about our beloved princess, let alone the role he played in her death! We should banish him from the Zora’s Domain and find an alternative solution!”

“Muzu, please be reasonable--”

“REASONABLE?? We’ve waited for the return of the champion for a century and this foolish child--”

The Zoras continued to bicker as Link desperately probed his blank mind for a clue as to why they hated him so. By now, he had come to believe that what the king had told him about being asleep for 100 years was true. Finally he had proof in the form of people who’d actually known him at the time. Too bad they all seemed to despise him and his entire species. He wished he could remember why.

Memories clawed at the inside of his skull, desperate for escape. He knew he knew the woman depicted in the statue somehow, he just wished he could remember how. His forehead started to ache.

_I just want to remember!_

Vague images swam before his eyes… an enormous, glass-clear lake… standing on a cliff… or was it something else?… watching the Zora move about in their city below… a soft webbed hand resting on his lacerated forearm…

That name…

_Mipha…_

_Mipha!_

Like a crumbling dam before a raging river, the barrier of his mind gave way and a wave of nostalgia hit. The woman in the statue was no longer an irritatingly familiar stranger. She had been one of his dearest friends, and trusted ally, and…

And she was gone.

Link gasped, the realization like a punch in the stomach.


	17. Cooking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link is a world-class gourmet wilderness chef. Guaranteed not to make you sick 75% of the time.

“According to my research, there’s some kind of sacred spirit that lives on top of Mt Lanayru! Can you imagine, Link? There’s only some partial legends that speak of it, but we could be the first people to lay eyes on it in over a thousand years! If it exists, that is.”

 

“I hope it’s friendly,” her knight said as he sauteed mushrooms and peppers over a flame. They were camped near the base of Mt. Lanayru, just west of the Lanayru Road East Gate. They had spent the past day traversing the partially submerged ruins, and Link had been forced to subdue a vicious red Lynel that had been patrolling the road to the west. But now all that stood between them and the shrine atop Mt. Lanayru was a... steep, icy, treacherous climb. 

 

Well, no one said the road of a scholar was easy.

 

“I’m sure it’s friendly, Link, it’s a  _ sacred _ spirit. I don’t think the scholars and explorers of the past would go around dubbing unfriendly beasts ‘sacred.’ That just seems foolish,” replied Zelda loftily. “I would love a chance to speak to it, of course, but if we’re only able to capture an image, I suppose I would be satisfied with that.” She patted the Sheikah Slate on her hip, glancing at the foreboding peak piercing the low, heavy clouds. Heavy white condensation gathered around the upper half of the mountain--it seemed to perpetually snow on this mountain, which occasionally led to avalanches in an otherwise temperate and snow-free region. 

 

She glanced impatiently at Link, who’d been crouched over the fire for what seemed far too long in her opinion. He had been gathering spicy peppers and Sunshrooms whenever he’d seen them since she announced they’d be traveling to Mt. Lanayru, no matter how far the gathering took them off course. He said they’d need to be prepared--Zelda thought the potions and warm clothes they’d packed should be preparation enough. But her knight had a deeply irritating stubborn streak.

 

“They’re ready,” he announced, pulling his latest culinary masterpiece out of the cookpot. As much as his dawdling annoyed her, she had to admit, he could  _ cook.  _ He was holding out a skewer of Sunshrooms and peppers to her expectantly. 

 

“Thank you.” She took a bite and intense savory flavors burst in her mouth. After a moment came a spiciness so intense her eyes watered. “Ah-ah-ah-h-hot! Hot! Link! Mmm! It’s hot!” She flapped her hand frantically, face burning from the heat. 

 

He laughed out loud and handed her a bottle of milk. He then worked on dousing the cookfire and wrapping up the other mushroom skewers as she took a big gulp of milk, desperate to soothe her burning tongue. Soon the burning was reduced to a light tingling and she sighed with relief. 

 

“Link, what was that??”

 

“Spicy mushroom skewer. It’ll help keep us warm on the mountain. You’ll thank me later.” He grinned at her, apparently amused by her glare of haughty disapproval. “Oh come on, Zelda, it wasn’t so bad.” He picked up his own and took a bite. She was satisfied to see that at least he wasn’t immune to extreme spiciness either.

 

She went slowly with the rest of her skewer. It  _ was  _ delicious, even if it made her nose run and her mouth burn. But from now on, she was going to keep a closer eye on Link’s cooking. 


	18. Waiting for You

“Saki’s a good cook.”

“Hmmm. Yeah.”

Link tried not to slurp his vegetable stew too loudly. He and Teba sat on Revali’s Landing, watching as the sun dipped towards the mountains and the sky blossomed with purples and pinks. Saki had insisted on having Link over for dinner after learning that he was friendly with her husband. He couldn’t help feeling a stab of guilt watching her fuss over Teba’s injury. If Teba hadn’t come along to distract Vah Medoh, he wouldn’t have gotten injured…

But Teba had chosen to come of his own free will, and without his help Link never would have even gotten to the Divine Beast. He supposed he should be grateful it was only an injured leg and nothing worse.

“So, uh… how long have you two been…?”

“It’ll be five years in autumn.” _So did they get married older?... Younger?... How old do Rito live anyways? How old is Teba? Hm. I probably should know these things_.

“Ah, really? That’s nice.”

“Thanks.”

Link wasn’t one for much smalltalk, though he was practicing. How fortunate to meet someone almost as terse as he was. Teba wasn’t even put off by Link’s somewhat raspy voice, a byproduct of 100 years of disuse followed by long periods of total solitude.

Teba set his empty bowl aside and sat back with a grunt. He kept his injured leg straight, allowing his foot to dangle off the end of the landing. He glanced at Link with a hint of smile. “So, kid, you got someone waiting for you back home?”

Link choked on his stew. Teba sighed and gave him a good slap on the back as the Hylian coughed for several seconds. When his airways were clear he looked up at Teba, eyes watering slightly. “Wh-what? You mean, like a wife?” He felt his cheeks warming.

Teba rolled his eyes. “Geez, Link. I meant, you know, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, lover, whatever. Just tryin’ to make smalltalk.”

Link smiled sheepishly. “I guess there is someone… sort of.” _I know she’s waiting, but is she even alive? Does Mipha count as well? I guess not, since she’s a ghost now. Plus, I…_ Link stopped the uncomfortable trail of thought before it led to darker places. Teba raised an eyebrow, waiting for an explanation. Link tried to explain in a way that didn’t make him sound like an utter loon.

"What I mean is, yes. In a way. There is someone I… have feelings for. But I haven’t seen her in… a really long time. I don’t know if she feels--if she ever felt--that way about me. But I know she’s waiting for me. And I have to help her.”

“Is it Zelda?” Link blushed deeper.

He’d forgotten that he’d already mentioned her to Teba, and though the Rito had been highly skeptical of his claim, he apparently had not forgotten. He nodded shyly. It felt weird to admit his feelings out loud. He’d spent so long before that lost century harboring affection for her he knew he could never do anything about. And now that his memories were restored, the feelings had returned as well.

Teba was studying him. “Well, I don’t know how that works seeing as, you know… hundred year gap and all… but you must really care for her a lot. I know that look.”

Link didn’t know, precisely, what look Teba was referring too. _The look of a fool who fell in love with the woman he failed to protect, maybe._

If he saw Zelda again, would she even forgive him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bird Dad is best dad.


	19. Bustin' Makes Me Feel Good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what happened here.

“Yeah, what you’ve got here is a Level Four infestation… maybe a Level Five… don’t see those much.”

 

“Is there anything you can do to get rid of them?? They’ll drive away all our tourists!” 

 

A brief glance around the rain-soaked town confirmed to the young man that the hysterical fellow in front of him was indeed correct: there were no tourists. Link didn’t exactly figure this place for a tourist trap, more like a stop on the way to the far more interesting Death Mountain. With its gigantic historic graveyard, maybe the town drew a lot of necrophiliacs. He didn’t know. There was a furious-looking man standing besides the windmill, and a couple that looked mere seconds from engaging in public intercourse, but the town was quite empty besides them. 

 

“Of course I can! All I need you to do is give me some room… and provide half the payment in advance of course.”

 

“Yeah! Pay up!” piped up Navi from his shoulder. She was outfitted with a tiny jumpsuit tailored to fit her spherical body and holding a tiny proton pack. 

 

“O-of course, how much do we owe you?”

 

“Oh… a thousand rupees upfront should do it,” said Link casually, examining his nails. Hero he may have been, but a man needs to eat and you can’t buy bread with good deeds. 

 

“A-a thousand??” The mayor’s pasty face somehow became pastier at the mention of such a figure. “I had no idea it would be that much! I won’t pay it.” 

 

“Do it or I’ll break your kneecaps!” squealed Navi, zooming in for the kill. Link held her back with a finger.

 

“That’s fine. We’ll just leave, then. Good luck finding--”

 

The rest of whatever he might have said was drowned out when the boarded-up well behind them seemed to explode upwards in a shower of mud, stone and wood and a gigantic shadow burst free. The enormous entity shot past them, knocking Link into the muck and pinging Navi into a nearby wall. He sat up and wiped his eyes just in time to see the thing careening towards the graveyard. Hmm. This was more serious than he thought. At least a Level Six. Also, he’d  _ just  _ cleaned this suit. 

 

“Ahhh--I-I’ll just write you the ch-check then,” the petrified mayor managed to squeak out as soon as he’d found his voice again. 


End file.
